Friday, August 31, 2012

excerpt: chapter 1

di here.
i'm posting clock of fate's first chapter now. if you haven't read my earlier clock of fate post, i suggest you read that one first. it'll be easier to understand this then.
enjoy!
also, please add comments. i like it when other people like it.



Chapter 1
         Abigail stretched and woke.  Her tiny cot, set in a fairly spider-free corner, was the whole of her room, and her only belongings in a corner.  Sheila, the farm cat, saw Abigail was awake and came over expecting petting.
       “No, not now, Sheila,” said Abigail.  “I need to milk the cows and collect the eggs.  Then I’ll be back.”
       Sheila made a halfhearted mew, and then went back over to a sunny spot to nap.
       Abigail hurried to the barn door, immediately running out to the house.  She called a quick hello, grabbed a couple milk pails and nearly got out the door.  Suddenly she remembered the egg basket and got it.  She nearly got back out again when Sheldon, her adoptive brother, appeared blocking the way.
       See, Abigail was adopted.  You may have heard about her clock, and how her mother died, and that her father died before her birth.  The midwife who had helped birth her lived on a farm with her family.  She immediately took the orphaned child in.
       Sheldon was the oldest of four children, not including Abigail.  The twins, Cornelia and Cornelius, were five, and Emily was thirteen and acted superior to Abigail and the twins. Sheldon was fourteen, and eleven-year-old Abigail was his best friend.
       “Hello, Abigail,” said Sheldon.
       Abigail replied, “Hello!  I’m off to milk the cow and collect the chickens’ eggs.  Are you coming too?”
       “I need to clean the barn.  Mother thinks your bed is getting too spider webby.  I think you would know best, since it’s your bed.” Abigail walked to the barn.
“I’m fine, but whatever Mother wants.  She fusses about tidying things.  Though as a midwife, I thought she would be used to messy things.  And she’s got five children. I’m not complaining, though, because I’ve now got a clean space to live in.”
Abigail checked her clock.  The twins, who were passing, looked at her strangely.  She ducked out of the barn, whacked her head on the doorframe, and stumbled over to Sheldon.  He was doubled up with laughter.
They set off to the henhouse.  A plump, brown-feathered hen clucked at them from her perch.  Abigail stuck her hand in, and the hen nipped at it in a friendly way, looking for food. Sheldon scattered corn inside the henhouse, and the hens pecked happily.
Abigail found only two eggs in the nesting boxes.  She sighed, signaled to Sheldon, and they set off for the barn once more to milk the cow.  The cow woke late, so they played with Sheila.  The cow woke when Sheila’s paw hit her hoof, so Abigail got up to milk her while Sheldon entertained Sheila.
Abigail could only collect half a pail of milk from the cow. Sighing, she set it on the floor, with the egg basket.  Suddenly, Sheila darted after a large rat, spilling both milk and eggs.
“There’s no use crying over spilled milk and eggs,” said Sheldon, but Abigail detected a note of disappointment: their family couldn’t survive on this meager amount of food.  They depended on the dairy.
They went inside for iced drinks.  They found that a conversation was taking place in the kitchen: a wedding was nearby.
They decided, for a wedding gift, they would visit the clockmaker.  They would buy a cuckoo clock for the new couple.
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That evening, Abigail was getting into her pajamas.  Her chest was still uncovered when she heard footsteps.  It was dark.  Night air poured into the barn as the door opened. Suddenly, Sheldon stepped in.
“Sheldon, don’t look. I’m-” But she never finished. Sheldon had seen the glint of moonlight reflecting on the clock.
“Abigail, is that a clock?”
There was no hiding anymore.  She told him the entire story, made him promise not to tell anyone, and showed him the odd gold timepiece in her chest.


3 comments:

  1. HI Diana! Congratulations on having your own blog. I can't wait to read the next Chapter:)

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  2. Want. More.

    My favorite part of your writing here is how you describe things indirectly. For example, you describe where Abigail has her cot as "a fairly spider-free corner." Directly you are describing where the cot is. Indirectly you are describing the rest of the room or building as having lots of spiders, but more in some areas and less in others. You are also indirectly describing Abigail as wanting to avoid spiders (fairly normal) but able to sleep with them around (a bit unusual.) This combination of direct and indirect description is elegant. I'm impressed.

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